The thought of Grad School is a constant thought of mine. I keep having the dream that I get accepted into my number one pick. I move all of my belongs to the new city and the first semester I fall all of my classes. I don't what it is.... I would like to pursue an M.P.H. degree and I am soooo very excited about it. I guess that I'm just really intimidated by the whole idea of grad school. I am very excited at the same time, I mean the journey that you go through further understanding who you are and continuously growing into a better person. Understanding that you really only have one life to live so experience as much as you can. I yearn so much to attend school out of my comfort zone so that once again I will be force to "Man-Up" on life. I feel that the more cultured I am the more my children will be and the more their children will be cultured. I want to be able to look back on my life and truly understand struggle, and overcoming that struggle.
My "current job" is one of the main catalyst that is pushing me so hard to go to Grad school quickly.
I have about 7 colleges that I am looking at and have sent my information to. They vary from warm summer breeze of the south to the freezing north. I really want to expand my horizons and experience something new and different.
My...umm "man":
I love him so dearly and though I never wanted to speak about my personal life too much in blogsphere....it makes me a little sad about the fact that we may be separated for the duration of my schooling. He is so supportive and loving and I just hate it, but I have to accomplish this goal and I guess his wonderful spirit gives me a peace of mind about the potential challenge that we may face (Thank GOD for airplanes).
My intermediate Family:
They are the BEST!!! Always so supportive and pushing me to think out side the box and create my own paths in life. They have been the most supportive and inspiring.
My extended family:
How the mirror isn't so clear....I mean I would have never guessed that this would be the case. My own family not willing to share the most joyful times of my life and in our family's life. I was the sadden at the reaction of some when I got accepted to a University hours away from home. Many congratulated, but so many were unsupported. I mean I was blown away...and still is does. I mean how could your own family turn against you especially when it in regards to education....WHAT??!! And to top that, on one of the biggest accomplishments so far in my life I did not receive one call/text/email/message in the sky....nothing. I bothers me so, and I fear that my children will not know many of my extended family for the simple fact that they're so hung up on me and the choices that I've made for my life, i.e. moving away and seeing what the world has to offer, instead of being supportive and happy for me.....and guess what? They had the nerve to imply that I have forgot where I've come from...what the hell??? Okay, so going away to school and getting out of my comfort zone unlike you makes me forget where I come from??? Please.......uhhhhh!!! I don't think that this will ever be solved. Except for maybe one or two or them, no one ever calls or see's if I'm breathing. I guess I'm trippin' because you see it wasn't always like that. This shift started to occur about four years ago, when I went off to college. So, my choose today to accept that this is my reality when it comes to that part of my family.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Gettin' my grown WoMeN on!
As I reflect on my life this past year I feel as if I have grown so much....juggling so much all the while still trying to maintain a positive outlook on life when things were so rough. As this year passes I am amazed at how my personal ambition has went into full gear.
I was reflecting on many things and my TRUE friends popped into my head...((sigh)). Majority of them live miles and hours away from me. I really wish that I could spend more time with my girls experiencing new things in life. I want to become a better friend in 2009. I sometimes get so consumed with life that I neglect them and that irritates me...GOSH! So I will be focusing on accomplishing more of my academic goals like starting grad school next year and becoming a better sister friend to my girls who I love dearly.
Oh and I had a revelation about aahhmmm...those "friends"...the ones who constantly shout to the world how grand, stable and secure they are while in the same sentence bringing you down. The ones who still have no clue who the hell they are and are so damn shallow its pitiful. The ones who say they're true friends and claim they're independent when they rely on others to make them feel secure. The ones who say the quality of friends means more then quantity, but inside its just the opposite.....Those "friends" should no better than anyone that there is always one friend who knows them best and will always know them best and will always be able to call them the hell out! EVERYTIME! (HAHA).
Now I know "they" have a purpose...I believe they're here to allow me to stay grounded and appreciate my true sister friends who are my ride or dies til' the end....(love ya Candace).
I was reflecting on many things and my TRUE friends popped into my head...((sigh)). Majority of them live miles and hours away from me. I really wish that I could spend more time with my girls experiencing new things in life. I want to become a better friend in 2009. I sometimes get so consumed with life that I neglect them and that irritates me...GOSH! So I will be focusing on accomplishing more of my academic goals like starting grad school next year and becoming a better sister friend to my girls who I love dearly.
Oh and I had a revelation about aahhmmm...those "friends"...the ones who constantly shout to the world how grand, stable and secure they are while in the same sentence bringing you down. The ones who still have no clue who the hell they are and are so damn shallow its pitiful. The ones who say they're true friends and claim they're independent when they rely on others to make them feel secure. The ones who say the quality of friends means more then quantity, but inside its just the opposite.....Those "friends" should no better than anyone that there is always one friend who knows them best and will always know them best and will always be able to call them the hell out! EVERYTIME! (HAHA).
Now I know "they" have a purpose...I believe they're here to allow me to stay grounded and appreciate my true sister friends who are my ride or dies til' the end....(love ya Candace).
Here is a snapshot of the things I AM going to accomplish this year (hopefully):
1. Start doing Yoga!: Started
2. Complete my B.S. Degree: Completed
3. Move to Atlanta/D.C: Working on it!
4. Get a new car: Uhhh still working on it!
5. Start my Jewelry line: Started
6. Look for a "Career Related" job!
7. Apply to Grad school: Not yet
8. Take the GRE: In April!
9. Travel on a Mini "BIG" vaca!: Planning!
10. Reconnect with my Girls!: Started!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
New Year, same mess!
Happy New Year!
I always feel like this time of year people tend feel their hearts with a false since of hope....As if this new change in the New Year will erase all of their disparities, worries and shortcomings. Oh, but when those things do not come to pass your year begins to emulate last years troubles (I hate this).
I never really create this loooonnnng list of "I promises" and "I will not's". This year I will change my perception on things. I feel this will be more life altering than setting myself up for potential failure and disappointments.
In an earlier blog I made a list of things that I wanted to do to enrich my life and I actually have done some of those things. I now have my yoga mat and yoga dvd's so I am on it and I plan to travel to the Cayman Islands for my birthday this year (I can't wait)! I will not subject myself to non-positive things, people and situations....if you let, them they will suck the life out of you....(I have experienced this first hand). I mean really we all have choices and those same choices can and will change the way or how much you enjoy and live your life. As I have said many times, I tend to try to control all aspects of my life and I made a decision to not take part in that any longer.
For the last 6 months I can admit, I lost site of my core value. My mother raised me to be a very self aware, humble spirited women, but when you find yourself overwhelmed with situations you tend to loose site of you. The things that make you happy the most, what you dislike the most.....
FRIENDS (or not):
They have taught me that I don't have to figure out who is a true friend or not, because through their actions their true hearts will be revealed (which is the most rewarding).
RELATIONSHIPS (or not):
They will never be easy,but to love someone should never be hard.....and if to love someone leaves you needing a resuscitation you might need to reevaluate somethings even if it hurts.
LIFE:
Fulfill your life with such greatness that it becomes the norm for you so that where ever you are you will never accept anything less than such!
PAINTING:
Painting makes my inner soul so at peace and it makes my inside smile! Find that something that feeds those parts of you that no man (flesh) can ever bring light to.
I send love to all and Happy New Year's again....I hope that you live a better life in 2009 and treat others better as well because at the end the day you could be selfish, but what lonely life you will have............
Peace and love,
Seeking of Essence
I always feel like this time of year people tend feel their hearts with a false since of hope....As if this new change in the New Year will erase all of their disparities, worries and shortcomings. Oh, but when those things do not come to pass your year begins to emulate last years troubles (I hate this).
I never really create this loooonnnng list of "I promises" and "I will not's". This year I will change my perception on things. I feel this will be more life altering than setting myself up for potential failure and disappointments.
In an earlier blog I made a list of things that I wanted to do to enrich my life and I actually have done some of those things. I now have my yoga mat and yoga dvd's so I am on it and I plan to travel to the Cayman Islands for my birthday this year (I can't wait)! I will not subject myself to non-positive things, people and situations....if you let, them they will suck the life out of you....(I have experienced this first hand). I mean really we all have choices and those same choices can and will change the way or how much you enjoy and live your life. As I have said many times, I tend to try to control all aspects of my life and I made a decision to not take part in that any longer.
For the last 6 months I can admit, I lost site of my core value. My mother raised me to be a very self aware, humble spirited women, but when you find yourself overwhelmed with situations you tend to loose site of you. The things that make you happy the most, what you dislike the most.....
FRIENDS (or not):
They have taught me that I don't have to figure out who is a true friend or not, because through their actions their true hearts will be revealed (which is the most rewarding).
RELATIONSHIPS (or not):
They will never be easy,but to love someone should never be hard.....and if to love someone leaves you needing a resuscitation you might need to reevaluate somethings even if it hurts.
LIFE:
Fulfill your life with such greatness that it becomes the norm for you so that where ever you are you will never accept anything less than such!
PAINTING:
Painting makes my inner soul so at peace and it makes my inside smile! Find that something that feeds those parts of you that no man (flesh) can ever bring light to.
I send love to all and Happy New Year's again....I hope that you live a better life in 2009 and treat others better as well because at the end the day you could be selfish, but what lonely life you will have............
Peace and love,
Seeking of Essence
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Post-Grad-evolutionary uproar!
WELL HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLOOOOO People!!!!
It has truly been too long since I have written on here......or course a lot has transpired since the last time that I was on here and so I have a few things (a lot) to say:
I know you're looking at the title of my blog like,"What the hell is she talking about?". My title is very appropriate for what this blog is about:
First topic:
So...........I GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, so yes after all of my complaining, tears and prays I graduated on December 13. What a great way to end the year. What is so funny is that I got more "girl life after graduation is horrible", "You will be so depressed", " You will be so bored" than I got "Congratulations".....I know they all meant well, but a women like me who worries about everything (especailly the things I can't control) did not need to hear that.....
So far life after college has been very subdue......I am in the stage where I can't imagine picking up a book of any sort,but at the same time I want to conquer the world. I reeeeaaaaallllyyyy need a "Career related" job! I am so over this stage in my life and I "NEED" to move on to the next one.
Transition>>>>> This really irritates me!!!!
I am all for the uplifting of women (people in general), but I am so tired these "young women" who constantly fake the funk.....It amazes me how easily they put themselves on a high horse as if they S*%& don't stank. I am such a girlie girl and I have so many close gal friends, but I always come across this prototype female. She acts as if her insecurities are desolate compared to others and she so yearns to be this socially appealing "undercover" of course, when all of her flaws are written all over her forehead. It just irritates me when women have to constantly put other women down for how they dress, think or what they do or how they talk or *Fill in the blank* I refuse to surround myself with these type of females because they will eventually allow all of that fake funk to destroy you and your friendship....
Let's embrace the differences in our fellow sista's and realize that God could have placed you in their lives to help them overcome a disparity in their lives....Don't let your own insecurities isolate yourself from yourself to the point that you think that you got it all together and everyone around you does not.....Do a reality check on "YOURSELF"!
Insert: Now I know you all may be thinking,"Who pissed her off?" and honestly, no one really has. It's been an accumulation of different situations, comments and certain people that I have come across.....that tis' all...lol
I digress..........
It has truly been too long since I have written on here......or course a lot has transpired since the last time that I was on here and so I have a few things (a lot) to say:
I know you're looking at the title of my blog like,"What the hell is she talking about?". My title is very appropriate for what this blog is about:
First topic:
So...........I GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, so yes after all of my complaining, tears and prays I graduated on December 13. What a great way to end the year. What is so funny is that I got more "girl life after graduation is horrible", "You will be so depressed", " You will be so bored" than I got "Congratulations".....I know they all meant well, but a women like me who worries about everything (especailly the things I can't control) did not need to hear that.....
So far life after college has been very subdue......I am in the stage where I can't imagine picking up a book of any sort,but at the same time I want to conquer the world. I reeeeaaaaallllyyyy need a "Career related" job! I am so over this stage in my life and I "NEED" to move on to the next one.
Transition>>>>> This really irritates me!!!!
I am all for the uplifting of women (people in general), but I am so tired these "young women" who constantly fake the funk.....It amazes me how easily they put themselves on a high horse as if they S*%& don't stank. I am such a girlie girl and I have so many close gal friends, but I always come across this prototype female. She acts as if her insecurities are desolate compared to others and she so yearns to be this socially appealing "undercover" of course, when all of her flaws are written all over her forehead. It just irritates me when women have to constantly put other women down for how they dress, think or what they do or how they talk or *Fill in the blank* I refuse to surround myself with these type of females because they will eventually allow all of that fake funk to destroy you and your friendship....
Let's embrace the differences in our fellow sista's and realize that God could have placed you in their lives to help them overcome a disparity in their lives....Don't let your own insecurities isolate yourself from yourself to the point that you think that you got it all together and everyone around you does not.....Do a reality check on "YOURSELF"!
Insert: Now I know you all may be thinking,"Who pissed her off?" and honestly, no one really has. It's been an accumulation of different situations, comments and certain people that I have come across.....that tis' all...lol
I digress..........
Friday, August 22, 2008
My Olympic RACE>>>>>>
Ooookaaayy, it's been a minute since I've written a blog and I so need to do some much needed venting.......
So, CONGRATS to me!!!!! I passed my last class this summer, Whoa hooo!!!! I am so proud of myself for passing all of my classes this summer. This summer was a tough one,but I prayed every step of the way and GOD made a way.....((sigh)).
Sooooo, this fall will be my laaaaaaassst semester!!!!!!!! But, why does school start in like two days??? I mean really...I am so tired of school and trying to juggle school and work and paying my bills while trying to soak up a little college fun. Okay, so enough with the complaining....I know what I have to do!!
On a lighter note,my best friend and I will be headed to ATL this weekend and I am SOOOOO excited for a couple of reasons, but the main reason is because I would like to potentially move there (maybe,I don't know)but anyway,it will be labor day weekend so you know it should be a FUN filled weekend (keep ya fingers crossed fo' ya girl)...while I'm there we will be checking out some apartments and schools.....and of course hittin' up a club here or there (which is crazy because I never go to the club where I live,but whatever). Well, ahhh, yeah, soooo all in all, we should have lots of memories and pictures and smiles to prove it...YAY!!!
My Olympic race has been such a battle:car breaking down, job schedule not working my school schedule, but I need them both, breaking up with one of my best friends, being without a job for like 4 months while I had to eat and pay rent, all the while trying to pass my classes and staying sane....my Olympic race has included 4 years of stress ,worrying, friends coming and going, defeat,accomplishments,opportunities,heartache,happiness and lastly,but most importantly self growth.....I'm almost at the finish line, but that bear has jumped on my back....I'm out of breath,but I see the finish line and dammit I'M GOING FOR THE GOLD!!!
Remember to keep your eye on the prize..........
So, CONGRATS to me!!!!! I passed my last class this summer, Whoa hooo!!!! I am so proud of myself for passing all of my classes this summer. This summer was a tough one,but I prayed every step of the way and GOD made a way.....((sigh)).
Sooooo, this fall will be my laaaaaaassst semester!!!!!!!! But, why does school start in like two days??? I mean really...I am so tired of school and trying to juggle school and work and paying my bills while trying to soak up a little college fun. Okay, so enough with the complaining....I know what I have to do!!
On a lighter note,my best friend and I will be headed to ATL this weekend and I am SOOOOO excited for a couple of reasons, but the main reason is because I would like to potentially move there (maybe,I don't know)but anyway,it will be labor day weekend so you know it should be a FUN filled weekend (keep ya fingers crossed fo' ya girl)...while I'm there we will be checking out some apartments and schools.....and of course hittin' up a club here or there (which is crazy because I never go to the club where I live,but whatever). Well, ahhh, yeah, soooo all in all, we should have lots of memories and pictures and smiles to prove it...YAY!!!
My Olympic race has been such a battle:car breaking down, job schedule not working my school schedule, but I need them both, breaking up with one of my best friends, being without a job for like 4 months while I had to eat and pay rent, all the while trying to pass my classes and staying sane....my Olympic race has included 4 years of stress ,worrying, friends coming and going, defeat,accomplishments,opportunities,heartache,happiness and lastly,but most importantly self growth.....I'm almost at the finish line, but that bear has jumped on my back....I'm out of breath,but I see the finish line and dammit I'M GOING FOR THE GOLD!!!
Remember to keep your eye on the prize..........
Saturday, July 26, 2008
LUV or LOVE?
Ummm...its late and though I would like to sleep, I have this issue right now that I have to express.........
I have come to a somewhat depressing conclusion....My kind of love just doesn't exist. This truly feels like a punch in the stomach....I am without a doubt not perfect, but the love that exist in my heart doesn't exist, I think, any where else....it just can't because I have not encountered a single soul that understands my heart..( not to be confused with maybe understanding my flesh). My heart is dehydrated from the lack of nutrition it needs to survive. Could there be a substitute or a rare antidote?
Okay....let me pull back. I don't want anyone to think that a sista' is depressed about life and that fact that I haven't been in a successful relationship yet ( though I've had about two serious relationships). I understand that there is a season for everything and that I (YOU) have/need to embrace this time....so that "The Evolution of Growth" will be able to take place.
Shoot if I/you keep this up...when this chapter of growth is over and done with we will be a something to reckon with....
Stay positive and uplifted (try to find it in something if not yourself), and be self centered....not the dictionary version,but my version....
Self centered: the act of seeking the essence of one's self spiritually,mentally, artistically and physically....know thy self which will have a consequence of knowing one self.
Note: Men I have a piece of advice for ya!!! Ummmmm.... a women ,well most,would like it if you could give them something that is intangible in a relationship over roses or a box of chocolate (now those things are important, but this is SOOOO much more important than those)....they want you to enrich their lives with things that they can't give themselves. I mean if you think about it a woman can buy herself roses, shoes clothes, dinner and the list could go on and on...so what can you give her that she honestly could never give herself???....(Just think about it)...I digress....
Nothing but love and prosperity,
Seeking of Essence
I have come to a somewhat depressing conclusion....My kind of love just doesn't exist. This truly feels like a punch in the stomach....I am without a doubt not perfect, but the love that exist in my heart doesn't exist, I think, any where else....it just can't because I have not encountered a single soul that understands my heart..( not to be confused with maybe understanding my flesh). My heart is dehydrated from the lack of nutrition it needs to survive. Could there be a substitute or a rare antidote?
Okay....let me pull back. I don't want anyone to think that a sista' is depressed about life and that fact that I haven't been in a successful relationship yet ( though I've had about two serious relationships). I understand that there is a season for everything and that I (YOU) have/need to embrace this time....so that "The Evolution of Growth" will be able to take place.
Shoot if I/you keep this up...when this chapter of growth is over and done with we will be a something to reckon with....
Stay positive and uplifted (try to find it in something if not yourself), and be self centered....not the dictionary version,but my version....
Self centered: the act of seeking the essence of one's self spiritually,mentally, artistically and physically....know thy self which will have a consequence of knowing one self.
Note: Men I have a piece of advice for ya!!! Ummmmm.... a women ,well most,would like it if you could give them something that is intangible in a relationship over roses or a box of chocolate (now those things are important, but this is SOOOO much more important than those)....they want you to enrich their lives with things that they can't give themselves. I mean if you think about it a woman can buy herself roses, shoes clothes, dinner and the list could go on and on...so what can you give her that she honestly could never give herself???....(Just think about it)...I digress....
Nothing but love and prosperity,
Seeking of Essence
My petition (invisible ceiling)
Have you ever felt like you're not living to the capacity of your being? I mean it's like when you wake up each day you're not challenging yourself fully, not allowing yourself to have a full smile or yawn with your mouth wide open or scream to the top of your lungs....???
So, I guess this kind of explains what stage I'm in right now....I don't know it feels weird...almost like I have no sense of direction, but I know exactly where I'm going...(I know).
I think subconsciously, I haven't been living for me or maybe living without limitations...I know I've been hindering myself in many aspects by putting these invisible ceilings in my life.
From this day on I will:
1. Continue to seek God in order to become closer with him and his word.
2. Live life without limitations (within reason of course)
3. Travel more....I mean really travel!!!
4. Try new things (food, activities, YOGA!!!!)
5. Stay focused on my happiness and what really makes me happy.....
6. Continue to be free spirited !!!
This is my petition to myself...maybe this is why God hasn't blessed me yet with that special kind of love that we're all searching for....Maybe right now I'm too blind by my own fears and self growth that I can't be what he needs me to be for me to receive that blessing yet. It's surely a hard thing to swallow, but progress is inevitable as it goes down.......Be at peace my peeps!!
So, I guess this kind of explains what stage I'm in right now....I don't know it feels weird...almost like I have no sense of direction, but I know exactly where I'm going...(I know).
I think subconsciously, I haven't been living for me or maybe living without limitations...I know I've been hindering myself in many aspects by putting these invisible ceilings in my life.
From this day on I will:
1. Continue to seek God in order to become closer with him and his word.
2. Live life without limitations (within reason of course)
3. Travel more....I mean really travel!!!
4. Try new things (food, activities, YOGA!!!!)
5. Stay focused on my happiness and what really makes me happy.....
6. Continue to be free spirited !!!
This is my petition to myself...maybe this is why God hasn't blessed me yet with that special kind of love that we're all searching for....Maybe right now I'm too blind by my own fears and self growth that I can't be what he needs me to be for me to receive that blessing yet. It's surely a hard thing to swallow, but progress is inevitable as it goes down.......Be at peace my peeps!!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Tragic inevitability...
Okay, before I began I want everyone to know that things are better and definitely looking up for me. The summer is almost over and I have one class that is finally over...((YAAYYY)). This class stressed me so because it was so pivotal to pass it for me to continue on to graduate in the fall....I am enrolled in one other class (that is still challenging) that will be over in just a few weeks and once I have the green light from that one I will begin the party.....
I said that all that to say this.....I am a lot less stressed and oh and I finally have a job...(God is good)....so like I said things are looking up for me....finally....in many ways than just one......
Today I would like to talk about how a decision that I was so on the fence about has been finally made...but the decision was not made by me....but by them....and yes they know who they are.... I do feel that God has answered my prays, because I asked for guidance and yep he came right on time.
Honestly, it was like a freakin' slap right on my left cheek! Man, this really wasn't what I wanted,but the disparity that I feel day in and day out is something that I don't enjoy so why do I continue to subject myself to such mediocrity on a daily basis. Sometimes, you have to except what is and not allow it to take away from what was and where you have come thus far. I personally have a tendency to do that...I focus on the negative aspect and completely forget how it truly was something great and still is a blessing in its on way....but thats because finally the decision was made not by me,but by your hurtful words, behavior,disrespect,inconsistent love,emotionless smile,here today gone tomorrow friendship,negativity,selfishness, and lastly our non equally yoked lives....I have to say that because I care too much, life forced you to make the decision for me...that is, what we have become and now what will be.
I said that all that to say this.....I am a lot less stressed and oh and I finally have a job...(God is good)....so like I said things are looking up for me....finally....in many ways than just one......
Today I would like to talk about how a decision that I was so on the fence about has been finally made...but the decision was not made by me....but by them....and yes they know who they are.... I do feel that God has answered my prays, because I asked for guidance and yep he came right on time.
Honestly, it was like a freakin' slap right on my left cheek! Man, this really wasn't what I wanted,but the disparity that I feel day in and day out is something that I don't enjoy so why do I continue to subject myself to such mediocrity on a daily basis. Sometimes, you have to except what is and not allow it to take away from what was and where you have come thus far. I personally have a tendency to do that...I focus on the negative aspect and completely forget how it truly was something great and still is a blessing in its on way....but thats because finally the decision was made not by me,but by your hurtful words, behavior,disrespect,inconsistent love,emotionless smile,here today gone tomorrow friendship,negativity,selfishness, and lastly our non equally yoked lives....I have to say that because I care too much, life forced you to make the decision for me...that is, what we have become and now what will be.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Throwing in the towel...a third time around
So, as I try and keep my composure about many things that lord knows I do not control, I find myself still worrying about them.....I AM SOOOO TIRED OF BEING TIRED OF BEING TIRED...(sigh).
I am finding that the up keep of relationships (friends,family etc) is something that I am at this point in time exhausted of doing especially when you're reaping little to nothing positive from it. I am almost tired of writing this blog for the simple fact that it is what I am constantly going over and over in my head. Now because of school I can't move so there goes a fresh start anytime soon and though to some moving away may seem like an easy way out, but to me it might be the only path to solace.
And today is one of those days where I feel crazy and distraught...(uhhhhhhhhhh)....
My prayer for today:
Lord take those who are not contributing positivity to my well being out completely.
Allow me to distance myself from those who want not of me. Allow my heart to be at ease about the things I can not control and allow your love and prosperity to flood my heart with joy. Take me Jesus to your destinations only not the ones that I seek. Lastly, allow this time in my life to be a very positive one and where self growth will be all that I need outside of your love...AMEN...
Have a good day people!
I am finding that the up keep of relationships (friends,family etc) is something that I am at this point in time exhausted of doing especially when you're reaping little to nothing positive from it. I am almost tired of writing this blog for the simple fact that it is what I am constantly going over and over in my head. Now because of school I can't move so there goes a fresh start anytime soon and though to some moving away may seem like an easy way out, but to me it might be the only path to solace.
And today is one of those days where I feel crazy and distraught...(uhhhhhhhhhh)....
My prayer for today:
Lord take those who are not contributing positivity to my well being out completely.
Allow me to distance myself from those who want not of me. Allow my heart to be at ease about the things I can not control and allow your love and prosperity to flood my heart with joy. Take me Jesus to your destinations only not the ones that I seek. Lastly, allow this time in my life to be a very positive one and where self growth will be all that I need outside of your love...AMEN...
Have a good day people!
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