Gettin' my grown WoMeN on!

As I reflect on my life this past year I feel as if I have grown so much....juggling so much all the while still trying to maintain a positive outlook on life when things were so rough. As this year passes I am amazed at how my personal ambition has went into full gear.

I was reflecting on many things and my TRUE friends popped into my head...((sigh)). Majority of them live miles and hours away from me. I really wish that I could spend more time with my girls experiencing new things in life. I want to become a better friend in 2009. I sometimes get so consumed with life that I neglect them and that irritates me...GOSH! So I will be focusing on accomplishing more of my academic goals like starting grad school next year and becoming a better sister friend to my girls who I love dearly.

Oh and I had a revelation about aahhmmm...those "friends"...the ones who constantly shout to the world how grand, stable and secure they are while in the same sentence bringing you down. The ones who still have no clue who the hell they are and are so damn shallow its pitiful. The ones who say they're true friends and claim they're independent when they rely on others to make them feel secure. The ones who say the quality of friends means more then quantity, but inside its just the opposite.....Those "friends" should no better than anyone that there is always one friend who knows them best and will always know them best and will always be able to call them the hell out! EVERYTIME! (HAHA).

Now I know "they" have a purpose...I believe they're here to allow me to stay grounded and appreciate my true sister friends who are my ride or dies til' the end....(love ya Candace).

Here is a snapshot of the things I AM going to accomplish this year (hopefully):

1. Start doing Yoga!: Started

2. Complete my B.S. Degree: Completed

3. Move to Atlanta/D.C: Working on it!

4. Get a new car: Uhhh still working on it!

5. Start my Jewelry line: Started

6. Look for a "Career Related" job!

7. Apply to Grad school: Not yet

8. Take the GRE: In April!

9. Travel on a Mini "BIG" vaca!: Planning!

10. Reconnect with my Girls!: Started!

New Year, same mess!

Happy New Year!

I always feel like this time of year people tend feel their hearts with a false since of hope....As if this new change in the New Year will erase all of their disparities, worries and shortcomings. Oh, but when those things do not come to pass your year begins to emulate last years troubles (I hate this).

I never really create this loooonnnng list of "I promises" and "I will not's". This year I will change my perception on things. I feel this will be more life altering than setting myself up for potential failure and disappointments.


In an earlier blog I made a list of things that I wanted to do to enrich my life and I actually have done some of those things. I now have my yoga mat and yoga dvd's so I am on it and I plan to travel to the Cayman Islands for my birthday this year (I can't wait)! I will not subject myself to non-positive things, people and situations....if you let, them they will suck the life out of you....(I have experienced this first hand). I mean really we all have choices and those same choices can and will change the way or how much you enjoy and live your life. As I have said many times, I tend to try to control all aspects of my life and I made a decision to not take part in that any longer.

For the last 6 months I can admit, I lost site of my core value. My mother raised me to be a very self aware, humble spirited women, but when you find yourself overwhelmed with situations you tend to loose site of you. The things that make you happy the most, what you dislike the most.....

FRIENDS (or not):

They have taught me that I don't have to figure out who is a true friend or not, because through their actions their true hearts will be revealed (which is the most rewarding).


RELATIONSHIPS (or not):

They will never be easy,but to love someone should never be hard.....and if to love someone leaves you needing a resuscitation you might need to reevaluate somethings even if it hurts.

LIFE:

Fulfill your life with such greatness that it becomes the norm for you so that where ever you are you will never accept anything less than such!


PAINTING:

Painting makes my inner soul so at peace and it makes my inside smile! Find that something that feeds those parts of you that no man (flesh) can ever bring light to.


I send love to all and Happy New Year's again....I hope that you live a better life in 2009 and treat others better as well because at the end the day you could be selfish, but what lonely life you will have............



Peace and love,

Seeking of Essence